"But he's getting past 40, and all the seams are splitting..."

  Somehow, I'm only hours away from officially moving into midlife.  I've never been one to obsess over image or age but turning 40 still comes across as a big milestone.  Having back surgery over the summer has not helped this point as it has proven that age catches up to everyone, whether we pay attention or not.  I still firmly maintain that you are only as old as you allow yourself to feel. 
  My life has turned out quite differently than I initially expected but that has been my little bit of serendipity.  I do wish I could have finished my last degree and gotten that dream job of professor of medieval history but I'm still pretty happy with the hand I've been dealt.  My family is my life and they have been just as fulfilling as any tenure track position.  I still more or less work in library given my career in the book business and I have to say I love having a job that does not  mind my wearing purple All-Stars on a daily basis and does not require a tie.  It has also allowed me a great deal more creativity than academe would have.  Universities are awesome but the real world is nothing at which to scoff.  I also love that I've gotten past minding what other people might think of me, a feat that certainly took most of my 40 years. 
   I do regret some things.  I could have been a better friend to many people I've known over the years.  Some things I have had the opportunity to rectify.  Others will likely never be.  It is easy to second guess when you can look back on things after a number of years and the only productive thing to do with that knowledge is to go forward and learn from those past missteps. 
  I still would like to be more productive with my next 40 years.  I've never wanted to allow myself to fall into an eternal cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat.  I don't think I'm doing that but it can happen all too easily.  I plan to keep doing what I do:  banging around on my Tele, dressing up for nerdy movie premieres, loving indie rock, reading 4 or 5 books at once, thinking about writing something meaningful someday, teaching Gospel Doctrine on Sundays, and doing my home teaching.  All this can coexist in the world of being a good dad, a loving husband, a faithful Priesthood holder, and a dependable employee.  Keeping these projects going should keep me from going into midlife crisis mode and buying some ridiculously overpriced convertible sports car.  If you're happy with your life, midlife simply finds you in the middle of something great with the second half yet to discover.  Besides, I'm not really "past 40" until next November and the gym is keeping my "seams for splitting".  So, enough with the intermission and let's move on to 41!